(For Hugh)
Me:
It’s wonderful to meet you Miss Parker. I hope you don’t consider being here too much against your better judgement. I have a lovely friend, who writes incredible poetry too, I think he is your biggest fan. I had this immediate curiosity to meet you so I could share this with him.
Dottie:
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was
against her better judgment. The cure for boredom is curiosity – there is no cure for curiosity.
Me:
Oh I mean curious in the most respectful way I promise. I doubt anything you’ve ever done or said could ever bore me…but my friend really is lovely.
Oh I mean curious in the most respectful way I promise. I doubt anything you’ve ever done or said could ever bore me…but my friend really is lovely.
Dottie:
I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again. By the time you swear you're his, shivering and sighing, and he vows his passion is infinite, undying! Lady make note of this - one of you is lying!. Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Me:
I really don’t know - but no-one could ever shudder at Hugh, he’s a darling…and I don’t fall in love enough to be able to compare notes (giggles)
Dottie:
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose. Be you wise and never sad, you will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, and your wish will come to you-- and if that makes you happy, kid, you'll be the first it ever did. I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
Me: (soaks all that up)
Wow! Well I hope you don’t mind that I’m taking notes. I’m really appreciating things you’re sharing with me, the general aspects of your life etc., just realised there’s a lot I need to learn about love and stuff.
Dottie:
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true. Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.
Me: (thinking)
Oh, oh…. Ohhhh!
Dottie: (me sensed a raised eyebrow here)
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound -- if I can remember any of the damn things, I'd like to have money - and I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money. I’ve never been a millionaire but I know I’d be darling at it. If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you. There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
Me: (writing furiously)
This is excellent, just hope I don’t miss out anything…
Dottie:
I hate writing, I love having written. I’m never going to accomplish anything; that’s perfectly clear to me. I’m never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don’t do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don’t even do that any more.
Me:
Well we both know that’s absolutely not true!! Well maybe the nails thingy but not about you not accomplishing stuff…that is SO not true!!.
Dottie:
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
Me: (laughs)
I don’t think they’d appreciate that very much but I shall certainly consider it….I’ve heard you’re quite famous for your wisecracks…you certainly have an incredibly sharp wit.
Dottie:
There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply callisthenics’ with words
Me:
Oh I’m sorry, forgive my bad manners - would you like a drink?
Dottie:
I like to have a martini, I wish I could drink like a lady. I can take one or two at the most. Three and I'm under the table. Four and I'm under the host
Me: (widens eyes)
Ohhh….ummm..
Dottie:
Don't look at me in that tone of voice! If I didn't care for fun and such, I'd probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, because I do not give a damn. There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
Me:
Well that’s jolly inconsiderate!! Do you think over the period of your life, you’ve got everything you’ve ever needed or wanted?
Dottie
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne
Dottie:
You don’t want a general house worker, do you? Or a travelling companion, quiet, refined, speaks fluent French entirely in the present tense? Or an assistant billiard-maker? Or a private librarian? Or a lady car-washer? Because if you do, I should appreciate your giving me a trial at the job.
Me: (shocked)
Dottie!! Why on earth would you ask me something like that? I have no doubt you would do all of those and more brilliantly but you’re a legend an absolute legend in the field of literature!!
Dottie:
Any minute now, I am going to become one of the Great Unemployed. I am about to leave literature flat on its face. I don’t want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading.
Me:
I don’t think my humble abode would suit someone of your stature – my spare room is a mess.
Dottie:
All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Me: (having a brainwave)
I’ll tell you what – I’ll get in touch with Hugh, he’d probably be more familiar with how to consider your request…he might even have a job for you. I know he’d be really chuffed to be asked. Is there anything else you think I should tell him?.
Dottie:
Salary is no object. I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.
Me:
Great, will do.. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again. By the time you swear you're his, shivering and sighing, and he vows his passion is infinite, undying! Lady make note of this - one of you is lying!. Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Me:
I really don’t know - but no-one could ever shudder at Hugh, he’s a darling…and I don’t fall in love enough to be able to compare notes (giggles)
Dottie:
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose. Be you wise and never sad, you will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, and your wish will come to you-- and if that makes you happy, kid, you'll be the first it ever did. I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
Me: (soaks all that up)
Wow! Well I hope you don’t mind that I’m taking notes. I’m really appreciating things you’re sharing with me, the general aspects of your life etc., just realised there’s a lot I need to learn about love and stuff.
Dottie:
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true. Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.
Me: (thinking)
Oh, oh…. Ohhhh!
Dottie: (me sensed a raised eyebrow here)
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound -- if I can remember any of the damn things, I'd like to have money - and I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money. I’ve never been a millionaire but I know I’d be darling at it. If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you. There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
Me: (writing furiously)
This is excellent, just hope I don’t miss out anything…
Dottie:
I hate writing, I love having written. I’m never going to accomplish anything; that’s perfectly clear to me. I’m never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don’t do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don’t even do that any more.
Me:
Well we both know that’s absolutely not true!! Well maybe the nails thingy but not about you not accomplishing stuff…that is SO not true!!.
Dottie:
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
Me: (laughs)
I don’t think they’d appreciate that very much but I shall certainly consider it….I’ve heard you’re quite famous for your wisecracks…you certainly have an incredibly sharp wit.
Dottie:
There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply callisthenics’ with words
Me:
Oh I’m sorry, forgive my bad manners - would you like a drink?
Dottie:
I like to have a martini, I wish I could drink like a lady. I can take one or two at the most. Three and I'm under the table. Four and I'm under the host
Me: (widens eyes)
Ohhh….ummm..
Dottie:
Don't look at me in that tone of voice! If I didn't care for fun and such, I'd probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, because I do not give a damn. There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
Me:
Well that’s jolly inconsiderate!! Do you think over the period of your life, you’ve got everything you’ve ever needed or wanted?
Dottie
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne
Dottie:
You don’t want a general house worker, do you? Or a travelling companion, quiet, refined, speaks fluent French entirely in the present tense? Or an assistant billiard-maker? Or a private librarian? Or a lady car-washer? Because if you do, I should appreciate your giving me a trial at the job.
Me: (shocked)
Dottie!! Why on earth would you ask me something like that? I have no doubt you would do all of those and more brilliantly but you’re a legend an absolute legend in the field of literature!!
Dottie:
Any minute now, I am going to become one of the Great Unemployed. I am about to leave literature flat on its face. I don’t want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading.
Me:
I don’t think my humble abode would suit someone of your stature – my spare room is a mess.
Dottie:
All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Me: (having a brainwave)
I’ll tell you what – I’ll get in touch with Hugh, he’d probably be more familiar with how to consider your request…he might even have a job for you. I know he’d be really chuffed to be asked. Is there anything else you think I should tell him?.
Dottie:
Salary is no object. I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.
Me:
Great, will do.. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
No comments:
Post a Comment